Inner Battle
by RahzelKane
Summary: No matter how many enemies he faced, his greatest foe would always be himself.


**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or any of the characters in this fanfiction.**

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_I know…that if I don't become the world's strongest swordsman, it will only embarrass you…! I swear! Until the day I fight him and win…I swear! To never lose again!_

Blood flying through the air, a tear-choked voice, and a white sword extended to the sky.

_Luffy…Help me…_

Hopeless, despairing eyes asking to be saved. A jagged wound bleeding sluggishly, with only hints of the hated tattoo showing.

_I'm sorry for being stubborn! I was wrong! I know it's shameful! And I know I said I left the crew! Can I…can I take back what I said?! Please let me stay with you guys! Please make me your nakama one more time!_

A desperate shout resounding over the sea, begging and begging for a second chance.

_You have no idea what this restaurant means to me, nor the gravity of my debt!_

Memories of sacrifices, the lives saved, and the will to live.

_I'm not human like you are! I'm a monster!_

Clenched hooves, resigned words, but even so, wishing so much for friendship.

_I WANNA LIVE! Take me with you out to sea!_

A hopeless situation, a chasm separating their fates, but still wanting so badly to trust and believe in nakama's words.

_I quit being a shipwright already! So that ship would be the last ship that I'd ever make! It was my wish…that is the "Dream Ship"!_

A comedic situation, but the words are filled with nostalgia all the same, of times from a childhood long past.

_Today is a wonderful day! I was able to find somebody! I couldn't tell the difference between today and tomorrow on this dark sea with a thick fog. All alone on a ship that won't obey its rudder. How many years I've been wandering! I've been reaaaaally lonely! Lonely and afraid! So much that I wanted to die!_

There was a sense of madness in his smile. Even with a smile, there was pain, so much sadness, and earth-shattering loneliness.

To Luffy's nakama, these were their promises, their salvations, and without even meaning to, these words came to represent their bond with him.

And it was because he had changed them, led them to a better future, that they could only see his strength, his utter fearlessness, and his unbending resolve. They could not see what Luffy could see for himself.

**No matter how many enemies he faced, his greatest foe would always be himself.**

As they watched battle after battle, first with Morgan, then Krieg, then Arlong, then Crocodile, then Enel, and then too many others to count, they came to expect such strength in Luffy. And he would always respond to their beliefs with even greater resolve.

Except they don't know Luffy's past. They don't know what _truly_ happened at Impel Down and Marineford. And they don't know of how he almost gave up. Luffy, who would never give up his dream, his freedom, his _nakama_, almost gave up. And it is because they don't know this that they can continue to rely on him. To place their hopes on him.

Though they had each promised on their own to become stronger for him, they can't protect him, because they can't see what it is he is suffering from. Not a physical wound, but rather a struggle within himself.

* * *

_There's the feeling of the wind in his hair, and exhilaration paints his face with his signature wide smile. Even without glancing to his left, he knows that Ace's there ducking and swerving around the trees effortlessly. Except when he does look over, he doesn't see the thick forest of Dawn Island, their childhood home, but instead a battlefield. And with this, he finally takes notice of the clanging of swords and the screams of pain. A feeling of apprehension creeps over Luffy, but he ignores it as Ace turns to look at him with concern. And even as his mind starts to remember…he sees Ace's eyes widening. Before he can react, Luffy finds himself pushed to the ground as Ace stands protectively over him, in a cruel mimicry of their childhood years. Even as he begins to turn his head, there is a ringing in his ears and a voice screaming, begging __**NONONOnonononononono! PLEASE NO MORE!**__ Trying to keep his head from turning, he finds that he can't control it. That this is punishment for allowing something so terriblehorrible_wrong_ happen…and then the only thing he can see is blood and magma, twisted so unnaturally around each other, so red, and ohgod, there's just so much redredredred!_

The only sign that Luffy had woken up was the slightest twitch of his fingers. Even after two years, he still had these frequent nightmares. He had realized long ago that this really _was_ his punishment for allowing Ace to die. He hadn't been strong enough or fast enough, and his brother had paid the price. Reaching over to grab his hat with an uncustomary sigh, Luffy sat up, having woken up from similar nightmares enough times to know that he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep any time soon. As he walked outside, he sent a wide, but fake smile up at Usopp, who was up in the crow's nest as lookout.

Seating himself on Sunny's lion figurehead, he looked out at the sea, wondering when it would be that Jimbei would come to join his crew. It was not that he cared about Jimbei any more than any of his other nakama, but more of the fact that Jimbei _understood_. He had been a close friend of Ace's and had also been present during Luffy's weakest moments. When Luffy had been unable to find a reason to go on, Jimbei hadn't given up on him, and had instead always been there for him.

Even now, Luffy could feel himself slipping into a depression. These episodes were less frequent now that he was back with his nakama, but the symptoms would reappear if Luffy was left alone for too long. And as he felt the first of the phantom pains, centering primarily on the massive scar on his chest, he slipped off his seat and shot himself up to the crow's nest. Just seeing Usopp's face was enough to stop the stinging sensation and focus his mind on happier thoughts. Though Usopp was surprised, he recovered quickly. Knowing Luffy's habits almost better than his own by now, Usopp began spinning another of his fantastical tales. "Have I ever told you about the time I defeated the giant lion-turtle beast on…"

And Luffy could feel himself relaxing again, content just to listen. And though he hated this part of himself that could only be comforted by his nakama, he was glad that he had their steady presence to anchor him whenever he got lost in thoughts of Ace.

By the time the others began waking up and walking out onto the deck, Luffy was genuinely happy, smiling with full abandon. They truly were the only ones who could take his mind away from the pain. And though he wished to tell them of how much it hurt, he realized that he could never do this to them. Because they relied on him. Because they believed in him. And it was for this exact reason that he had taught himself how to hide his pain behind his smiles, how to keep silent even when waking up from a particularly brutal nightmare, and how to turn the pain of his scar into a reminder to protect his nakama with his life. Because even with all their differences, they were his family now.

Zoro, who initially followed Luffy for his own ambitions, had now come to adopt Luffy's dream as his own. He came to believe entirely in Luffy's words and follows unquestioningly in his footsteps.

Nami found her place by her nakama's side. By Luffy's side. She had been alone for so long, fighting without relying on anyone other than her own wits, but she was lost the moment Luffy placed his hat upon her head and screamed to the sky, "OF COURSE I WILL!"

Usopp who's only dream had been to become a 'brave warrior of the sea,' eventually became strong because he wanted so badly to support Luffy. Loyal to both Luffy and his dream, he is no longer afraid to stand up against anyone who mocks Luffy.

Sanji acts as though only women mean anything to him, but he cares deeply for the rest of his male crewmates as well. Though he gets frustrated and angry at Luffy for his eating habits, he never begrudges him more meat and snacks.

Chopper admires Luffy for his determination. Watching Luffy stand up for anything he believes in without hesitation or fear of retaliation, he always finds himself in awe. For Luffy, he is willing to become a 'monster.'

Robin initially acted in whatever way would ensure her own survival. But after meeting Luffy, she was willing to give up her freedom for her nakama, and afterwards even decided that she would grow stronger for Luffy.

Franky stole from Usopp and had no reason to like any of them, but then he realized the type of man Luffy was, and grew to respect him. So now, he is willing to follow Luffy and make sure that the Thousand Sunny can carry Luffy wherever he wishes.

And finally Brook, who had been hoping desperately for the chance to see Laboon again. For the man who saved him from his lonely fate and promised to bring him to see Laboon, he gladly gave him his loyalty, even abandoning his fame as Soul King for the chance to go on adventures with Luffy again.

No matter what, he would be strong for his precious nakama.


End file.
